Her Wedding: Ch. 04

I try to numb the anguish edging its way out of my skin by dousing alcohol down my heart. Ostensibly, twelve glasses of the finest red wine are not enough to get me drunk. The classical music I usually love blares in my ears. Damn it. I am still sober. Like cancer, my love for her has spread to every nerve in my worn-out body. I can still feel, apparently.

Prepare yourself. She will be walking down the red carpet soon. Pop panadols like candy to numb the pain.

“Is that panadol you’re taking?” my best friend whispers.

“Nah. It’s vitamins,” I reply with a grin.

“I am a doctor for Christ’s sake. Do you think I can’t recognise panadol from vitamin pills?”

Ignoring him, I swallow a handful of white tablets.

“You can’t take that many pills. You’ll die.”

“I guess I already have.”

He stares at me tensely and I return his stare with a grin. The intense moment is interrupted by a roar of applause. The symphonic band they hired plays Variations on the Kanon arranged by George Winston. Everyone stands up to welcome the groom and the bride.

As she enters the ballroom, welcome her with the warmest applause, for they say loving someone means to see her be happy.

I see her, as clear as crystal, smiling blissfully as she walks down the red carpet, her arm interlocked with the groom. She is stunning in her sophisticated white wedding gown. She is an angel descended from the heavens.

How much I longed to see her in a wedding gown. How much I envisioned a future with her. How much I yearned to be next to her, walking down the aisle together… Every clap of my hands brings a bout of heartache.

“I’m calling an ambulance. You need to wash that stomach.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“You’ll die!”

“I told you I’m fine!” I snap.

“Just because the groom isn’t you doesn’t mean you have to commit suicide!”

No one seems to notice our argument. Everyone’s attention is on her and him.

“If you don’t want to make a scene here, fine. I can understand that. But I’m taking you to the hospital to pump your stomach once this is over. The chemicals won’t be absorbed into the bloodstream that soon, given that you have some food in your system already.”

“Whatever.”