on
Her Wedding: Ch. 08
Was it worth it? Even I do not know the answer… All I knew was that I was suffocating in a whirlpool of emotions…
Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I did and did not do back in the ballroom. Everything seems so mashed up in my mind. I am unable to identify which is reality and which is my hallucination… … …
“Bae and I met in the office.”
As he boasts, he looks at his new bride.
“She was doing an internship at the firm during her second year and I was helping my father out with the big cases during the summer break.”
No big deal… You were already a rising prosecutor then.
And he is still walking behind his father, basking in his father’s reputation.
“I was so touched by her passion to help victims who are clueless about the law. I still vividly remember her words back then. ‘I will only do Pro Bono!’ she said. And I fell in love with this angel immediately.”
The ballroomm went swooning with “awwwwwwww’s.
I curb my reaction. If Pro Bono was the reason he fell in love with her, then what does that make me?
I still remember our promise vividly.
I studied law because of her. I wanted to prove to her that even someone like me could also become a lawyer. I left my family and friends to study overseas. I slogged my guts out, sacrificing all my time and energy on studying. Eventually, I graduated two years earlier than my cohort, coming in top of the graduation batch. I was considered a prodigy in my college. In fact, an established multi-national law firm had recruited me as a defence counsel they wanted to groom. I returned home, eager to surprise her with my valedictory scroll. Instead, I got the shock of my life. She had moved on and left me behind.
She forgot our promise…
She may even have forgotten that I existed.
So I switched to prosecution. She believed that humans are well-natured and that everyone deserves a proper defence. But do we really deserve a proper defence? Was I given a chance by her? No. I began to oppose everything she believed in. To me, humans are corrupt and selfish individuals. Someone has to unmask these hypocrites so that balance is restored.
I had nothing to fall back on except my law degree. So I became the best prosecutor there was. I worked endlessly to forget the promise I kept, the promise which she forgot. I soon had everything in the world. Fame, money and women. But all these still could not fill up the emptiness in my heart.
Who is he to receive her love?
I clench my fist so tightly, my palms bled.
“Dear, you’re flattering me…” she replies mushily.
“Aww… She’s like that…That’s what I love about her…” He boasts to his guests.
My body trembles involuntarily with anger which I can no longer contain. My vision and hearing blurs. My heart which I had initially left behind thumps vigorously against my ribs.
I imagine myself rushing up to the stage and giving the groom one good punch in his face. I am like a madman, howling and crying while giving him a barrage of punches on the floor.
“You don’t deserve her!”
While I land punches on his loathsome face, I rant on.
“You’ve never felt any anguish in your life! Do you know what it feels like to enter a house every single day only to be greeted by darkness? Do you know what it feels like when no one is there to hear you cry? Do you know how it feels like to wake up in the night covered with cold sweat, haunted by nightmares of the regrets of your life?”
I grow tired, and my punches get slower.
“You don’t know ANYTHING!”
I look up to face her. It is the first time I look at her in the eye. She has her hands covering her mouth. Her eyes reveal her shock and fear.
I must look dreadful and fiendish this instant.
The sound of a crystal glass breaking rings in my ears. Red wine spills all over the carpeted floor.
“Hey! His body is going into seizure! Someone call the ambulance!”
“I’m a doctor! Move aside! I’ll take him to the hospital!”
Without warning, I threw up. My mind goes blank and I hit the ground, unconscious.
Heh heh heh… You proved me right. This circus charade is too much for you to handle…
… … …
I shift my eyes away from the rear mirror. I cannot even differentiate my imaginations from reality anymore. Everything I’ve done… I don’t even know what I did… I stare at my blood-stained palms. Is it blood or wine? I don’t even know what it is… I do not have the right to judge. So now you tell me, was it worth it…?