Our Blessings: Ch. 07

Even after the years have past, I still cannot help but wonder why I woke up in the middle of the night and chanced upon Zachary’s ‘call for help’. I was worn out by endless admin work daily at camp. Finally, Friday had arrived. Upon reaching home, I crashed onto the sofa and entered a deep slumber. The weekend rest was necessary for me to rejuvenate my energy for the next week. This monotonous cycle kept on repeating itself. Yet that night, I woke up an hour after midnight and our whole world was never the same since then…

My initial response was shock. Zachary and Yolene were the type of couple no one would bet against. They were everyone’s model couple. Then I drew a blank. How was I in any position to advise him? My own life was in shambles. I was only beginning to pick myself up, attempting to live a life without Shirleen. Hell would I know whether it would even work out. Maybe it’s because I’ve experienced my own heartbreak recently, something in me kept on nagging at the back of my mind, telling me that everything would eventually be fine. It’s because I now share a similar experience with Zac that allowed me to empathise with his plight. Likewise, he might now be able to comprehend the agony I have felt throughout the years.

Zachary was tough. He always was. He never revealed his weaknesses, not even to me. He appeared rational and in control of his own emotions all the time. At times, I worry if it was merely a facade. The rest of the time, I felt relieved that he chose to take it easy. In many ways, he was much stronger than me.

But sometimes when we looked into each other’s eyes, it was as if we were having the most honest conversation:

“Zac, move on… She’s not worth it.”

“Was Shirleen worth your time?”

It was that moment when I would look down for a couple of seconds and fix onto his eyes again, nodding solemnly, as if I was encouraging him and conveying this message, “I wished I could say no. But she was worth it… To the very end.”

He would return a melancholic smile – “She too was worth it.”

How wasted… Both of them chose boys who made them laugh, instead of men who were prepared to lift up the sky when it came crashing down, so that they would never shed a single tear in their life.