Our Blessings: Ch. 08

I once asked Clavier if he was still keeping in contact with Shirleen. His answer was an immediate ‘no’. The thought of still being friends with someone who not only rejected him but also led him on blindly sounded preposterous. It would be awkward beyond imagination.

Being friends again and pretending that nothing happened between them would just be sheer hypocrisy. It would also mean that he had forgiven her for betraying their promise, forgiven her for two-timing him, forgiven her for the emotional pain inherent in him. It would be too much for him to accept…

Brenda snaps us back to the present.

In a blink of an eye, lunch is over.

As we head out of the canteen, we hear a familiar, demure giggle coming our way. We look straight.

Is this meeting unavoidable after all?

It’s Clavier’s turn to keep quiet. That charming smile which captivated even a billionaire tycoon’s daughter vanishes. In front of him is the ‘purple headband’ girl and the ‘snapback’ boy.

It seems that round two is incoming… It’s Clavier’s turn to experience it…

I stand firmly to the ground with my left hand in my pocket. I wonder how Clavier will react to this…

Five seconds… Ten seconds… Then thirty…

Not a single fidget from anyone. Our friends’ eyes are shifting between Clavier and the ‘head dress’ couple.

I observe Clavier, mentally preparing for the worst case scenario.

He glance straight at them but his gaze is into the past. A melancholic gaze, to be more exact.

His toned body stands tall like an art sculpture. If we were in the Renaissance, Michelangelo would have used him as a human template while sculpting David.

Clavier, who was half a head shorter than me, has grown to be as tall as I am. It seems like he can effortlessly knock-out that slender boy in a rugby match. It’s not his height that ‘snapback’ needs to worry about. It’s his broad shoulders which is the issue. He has grown so much…

The expression he has in his eyes are well-known for being unreadable. The secret is that it is not. Behind those glaciated eyes is an iceberg of despair. And within that iceberg is a set of precious memories which only he bothers to safe-keep.

‘Snapback’ glares at Clavier while ‘purple headband’ shifts her eyes away to avoid eye-contact with him. Yet either direction her eyes shift towards, left or right, she will be facing either a sulking Amanda brimming with hostility or a serious-looking Calista with eyes filled with burning indignity.

The two girls had always been interested to know more about Clavier and his past. I didn’t mention much, but they still found a way to piece things together from various sources. I confidently assume that they have already done their ‘research’. They should recognise ‘purple headband’ from the Facebook picture uploads.

Despite Amanda being a ‘copycat’ of her by wearing a headband accessory, the original’s personality is shadowed by Amanda’s glowing confidence. The same goes for Calista. As much as Calista’s personality resembles her, Calista is no longer tugging onto Clavier’s shirt. She is resolute on ensuring that Clavier is not hurt ever again.

“Oh dear…”

A high-pitched voice trails off from behind.

I turn towards the voice. The other couple stands there. Her fingers are still around that boy’s arm.

And now let’s finish what we started.

I look at her apathetically and she looks back into mine. She grips onto her boyfriend’s hand tighter.

I am pretty sure this is her first time reading my aloof gaze. I did not expect to see her again. Her hesitant glance reveals her apprehensiveness and guilt. Unlike before, she is now unable to look beyond my cold stare and incomprehensible thoughts. She looks towards him and awaits his directions.

“Yolene,” I acknowledge.

“Hi Zac…” she says murmurs.

It seems as though her boyfriend is prepared pull her away any moment.

This is the moment I’ve been waiting for…

My heart palpitates. I can feel it throbbing in my chest. This is the time when I am ashamed to call myself a doctor-in-training. We are taught to remain calm in all scenarios, especially in life-and-death situations. Yet my body is not responding in kind.

I was supposed to watch over Clavier, so that he does not do anything foolish. I guess I have my hands tied too…

From behind, I hear Clavier’s calm and steady greeting to ‘purple headband’.

“Shirleen, how have you been?”

So we face off a past we desperately wished to forget. A past when Shirleen was Clavier’s ‘purple headband’ and when Yolene was my ‘penguin’. I guess you are on your own now, Clavier. But so am I…